Friday, January 30, 2015

Mystic Eyes

Buh-Byeee!
Does this mean it's Clinton/Bush in 2016?
cheezofrikin pizza.....

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Der morgige Tag ist mein

From the 1972 film version of Cabaret.

Don't Drool On Me

After the fall out from the last few public appearances by Sarah Palin, most notably her debacle last weekend at the Iowa Freedom Summit, many of her former very best friends are desperately trying to wash the taint off of their hands. Palin is running out of options to make money stay in the public’s eye and she’s nothing if not an attention whore. But she’s 50 years old and her looks are starting to fade. That might sound sexist but there’s no way around it: Palin’s looks have been a vital component of her success. Americans are kind of shallow but American conservatives are really really shallow. Or did you think it was a coincidence that all the women at Fox News are pretty blondes in tight skirts?
The future is not looking too bright for Sister Sarah and her clan (other than the millions they’ve already banked). Personally, I hope she sticks around for another decade or two. She really is the embodiment of the American right wing: Shallow, proudly ignorant, intellectually lazy, tasteless, narcissistic, phony beyond belief and just plain annoying.
Even her trolling of the left is starting to get stale. The Tea Party has degenerated so far into lunacy, it’s incredibly hard to stand out as exceptionally crazy. Palin’s just not smart enough to generate any real outrage with any kind of consistency. Even Ann Coulter’s star is fading because of this and, love her or hate her, Coulter is way smarter than Palin.
I can’t think of a better spokesperson for conservatism.
So in the interest of keeping Sarah viable and useful to a politically progressive America, I would like to offer a few career options that just might revitalize her prospects!

1.Plastic surgery: If (at least) 50% of your appeal is a pretty face, going under the knife is your best bet. It worked for the Kardashians, right?
2.Degrading Reality TV: No one cares about the Palins talking about America or dancing on TV. But sooner or later, the Palins (already a white trash family) are going to figure out that people will pay money to watch them makes asses of themselves. It worked for the Kardashians, right?
3.A “leaked” sex tape: It’s a toss up if it will be Sarah or Bristol. It worked…ehhhh…you get the idea.
4.More “Victimhood”: Screaming about how everyone is out to get them will curry sympathy with the terminally stupid for a little while longer.
5.Country Music (God help us all): In a world where “18 Wheels and a Dozen Roses” is a hit song, anyone can sell an album to southern rednecks with no taste in music. But then again, I think I might prefer the sex tape.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Les Reels

A preview of the upcoming Chapitre V recording to be released in March. 
Totally accomplished traditional Correzien musicians who have their roots in the past and their imaginations in the future! 

The Storm Of The Century

One night crawling around my Avenue B apartment stoned and looking at all the different textures, I heard a gasping laughter. I froze, listening intently to the matted shag rug under the bed. Eventually, I realized it was my demented roommate Johnny Bubble in the living room. He was hooting and hollering. I found him on the sofa pounding his fist into his thigh, breathless from laughing so hard. Finally he pointed at the TV.
“Ahhh! The evil weather man!” was all he could say.
I sat down and looked. He was right. The weather man was cartoonishly evil. We stared transfixed for hours. We watched while burning our mouths on TV dinners of Salisbury steak and apple cobbler. We smoked Lucky Strikes and drank cold cans of 16 oz Rolling Rocks all with eyes glued.

Transfixed.

He was sooo fucking evil, yet no one seemed to notice over their own ridiculous fake cheer. But it was so obvious, his gleaming hatred of everything.
After a while we stopped laughing. It was beautiful, like an opera where he sang of his lust of wind and barometric pressure. “The storm of the Century,” he sang into the camera. Into our eyes and ears. Hypnotizing us to believe this was the pinnacle of evolution, crashing into our destiny. That we were here to witness it, this bright gift of the moment. A billion years of stardust fucking, coming down to this one blessed pinnacle of devouring destruction. All coming down to this. “The storm of the century,” we whispered to each other, long after the power went out. Long after we lost all hope of survival.

I Think My Appetite Is Coming Back...

After 3 days of the epic influenza....2 days spent in bed, one day against all common sense on horrific journey to Bordeaux to take my wife to see a specialist who is going to do a stem cell cornea transplant in her eye when a donor is available...Horrific? I had to get up at 6, my brilliant plan was to take the train and then a taxi to the university hospital so we could be there for the 11:15 appointment. We got off the train, only to be confronted by a massive taxi strike blocking the station and the mass transit! I somehow figured out how to find the bus that would take us to the hospital which was a massive complex, a maze of buildings with no indication of where we were to go. I have to thank all the very nice helpful people we met in Bordeaux who gave us instantly good direction. We got to the Opthalmology clinic on exactly on time, but we didn't get out until almost 5:30!
By that time, we had missed the return train I had counted on....and we got back to the station with only minutes to spare to catch the train to Perigueux that would connect with the last train to our little station, Condat le Lardin, where I had left the car. We didn't get home until 9:30 pm...Luckily, the dog didn't destroy the house. I didn't pull a Ratso Rizzo and die on the train. I thought that the entire experience would set my recovery back...but I woke up this morning feeling almost okay.  I actually have aching bruises on my ribs from coughing so much! 
Then my appetite began to come back and this video made my stomach rumble....

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Monochromatic Regressive Therapy


In a previous life you were an entire forest. Selling life insurance in one of those big skyscrapers downtown. You could actually feel the thoughts alighting from your mind like so many birds. And you’d stop off at the bar after work on the way to the train. You’d down your first drink in blur and then maybe a second. You’d sniff and suckle the very air. Stale smoke, Murphy’s oil soap and some kinda of flower. Maybe it was perfume but it felt more delicate. Often some guy would start chatting you up about “Hey, where ya work?” or some wildly boring one liner. And you’d toss back your drink and roar blood all over the horizon.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

French Lesson

A great song from 1958 by Serge Gainsbourg, Le Poinconneur de Lilas.
I was thinking of this song and I found this version with subtitles.
Once upon a time, when you entered the Metro, you had to have your ticket punched by a little man who did nothing but put holes in tickets all day long, every day.
One day he put a hole in his head.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

The Apology

The FOX NEWS ACTION BOYS, John and Mikey attempt to personally apologise to the people of Paris. John and Mikey appear at the 1:33 point in the video, but the entire segment is worth watching. Eric Metzger and Quentin Margot are writers for Le Petit Journal and they are hilarious.  Tonight they presented their second instalment of their new smash sit com, Notre Belle Famille, The LePen clan at home, hanging out. 

SOTU SIMPLIFIED 4 U


The Grand Petulance

Ted Cruz, a sad sack, sorry tea bag licking mother fucker.
I hate to even go there, but what kind of abuse did he endure as a child to to get his face like that?
He posted this response to the SOTU last night but his staff even told him to make it go away ASAP!
They frantically tried to wipe it off of YouTube.
Too late, loser boy!