- On May 13th of this year, I published a post on Toronto Mayor, Rob Ford called Hey Ya, in which I noted the uncanny resemblance between him and Mayor Diamond Joe Quimby of the town the Simpsons live in, the fictional Springfield. I published a little game that had quotes from Quimby and Ford and then asked you to Identify the author. Since then, Ford has appeared drunk and incoherent in public more than just a few times and adamantly refused to admit that he ever smoked crack and he would not resign. After the tape allegedly resurfaced in the possession of his ex chauffeur who was trying to blackmail him, he still refused to admit it existed or consider resigning. Here are some photos of Ford meeting with drug dealer, Sandro Lisi earlier this year. The tape exists and is in the possession of the Toronto City Police. Ford was screaming at reporters to get off of his lawn a few nights ago then called a Toronto Radio Talk show in a drunken rambling stupor claiming to be someone named Ian and incoherently tried to defend himself. Today, his younger brother, Doug demanded that the police chief resign. The chief of course refused. Doug himself has had a well documented history of drug dealing as a young man in suburban Etobicoke, Ontario. The shit is still hitting the fan, so to speak. The Vice website has a great breaking piece that documents the efforts of Ford to hire a hacker to destroy the Crack Tape...this shit could get much deeper for Ford as there is a murder linked to this chain of events.This might make a great TV movie if it wasn't just so damn tawdry. It's too tragic and too fucking ridiculous. There are still many white conservative racist suburbanites in the greater Toronto area who are defending the mayor...Well, tonight, he made his last ditch attempt to appeal to them and in a rather typically incoherent rambling press conference, he actually admits to smoking crack, though he tries to blame it on his alcohol problem. Yeah, I was in a drunken stupor....That's the ticket! Hey Yah!!!!!!!
And for your further entertainment, here is my
Hey Ya post, Part #1 from May 13th, 2013
On Thursday, Gawker’s John Cook reported the existence of a video that allegedly shows Toronto Mayor Rob Ford smoking crack cocaine. Since entering public service as a city councilor in 2000, Ford has been known for his odd and improper public behavior and comments, a habit that only got worse after he was elected mayor in 2010. Whether he’s accosting out-of-towners at a hockey game, offering to help procure OxyContin for a constituent, or railing against streetcars and anti-poverty activists, Ford has consistently tested the limits of “mayoral behavior.”
In fact, the public servant Ford most closely resembles is the fictional mayor from The Simpsons, Diamond Joe Quimby. Both men are heavyset. Both are often at odds with constituents, colleagues, and the press. And both are prone to saying outrageous things in public.
I’ve prepared a 20-question quiz of quotes from Ford and Quimby. Which mayor said which wildly inappropriate thing? Answers are at the bottom.
1. “Are these morons getting dumber or just louder?”
2. “It’s hard to hide 300 pounds of fun.”
3. “People don't want to see their mayor stuck in an office all the time, they want to see him right at their door.”
4. “We'll blow up our dams, destroy forests, anything! If there's a species of animal causing problems, nosing around your camera, we'll have it wiped out.”
5. “Demand? Who are you to demand anything? I run this town. You’re just a bunch of low-income nobodies.”
6. “Let’s call a spade a spade. The left would have taken it and just wanted to spend it on crazy, stupid things like more social programs ...”
7. “Oh my god, I never want to hurt a bike. That’s the last thing I want to do, precious little bikes.”
8. “I ordered the re-opening of this prison to send a message to the criminals of [name of city]. If you commit a violent crime in my town, you are going to end up here. To demonstrate what you're in for, I will now strap myself into this electric chair, which was deactivated over 30 years ago, and, I can only assume, still is.”
9. “Water is the healthiest form of liquid.”
10. “By the way, this woman is not my wife, but I am sleeping with her. I'm telling you this because I'm comfortable with my womanizing."
11. “I'm sick of you people, you’re nothing but a pack of fickle mush heads.”
12. “Tuesday, Nov. 27, I’m going to be playing hooky from City Hall.”
13. “Those Oriental people work like dogs. … They're slowly taking over.”
14. “Now on to the next item, the proposal for putting term limits on public office. All those in favor say, ‘I have sex with animals.’ ”
15. “I’d love to see us sell the zoo and make money on it if we can. ... Keep the elephants here and take it from there.”
16. “You don't scare me, that could be anyone's ass. Now beat it! I'm calling the shots.”
17. “I will retract the word ‘ass.’ ”
18. “Very well, if that is the way the winds are blowing, let no one say I don't also blow.”
19. “You are tampering with forces you can't understand, we have major corporations sponsoring this event.”
20. “I’m as clean as the days are long.”
ANSWERS:
Ford: 2, 3, 6, 7, 9, 12, 13, 15, 17, 20
Quimby: 1, 4, 5, 8, 10, 11, 14, 16, 18, 19
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