Hey, our friend Little Norville, the kid wiith all the questions has another question for Elmo, our robotic creationist buddy!I cranked up Elmo in advance as he's not feeling up to snuff today...don't tell him robots can't feel, he only gets more cranky!
Norville, what's your question?
Mr. Elmo, I hope you're feeling better, I have a question!
Were Neanderthals the "monkey men" that Evolutionists keep talking about?
(There is a slight smell of ozone and burniong insulation as Elmo blinks a few times and a couple of crackles emanate from his speakers)
Ping*Cough*Greetings Norville, Ping. Excuse me, my resistors are acting up today and I think I am getting snotty. I hope I'm not getting the flu! Hack*PING!*
Oh the dreaded pinging has started...bear with me....
The answer to your question is No! Neanderthals were humans with abnormal bone growth due to very advanced age and Flood-cloud-related rickets!
Ping*Ping*Ping*...oh did you hear that? I think I'm having an attack. Could you get me some silicone based lubricant, fast! This is serious!***Ping* Crackle!
(Norville runs off to find something for Elmo)
Thank you Elmo!
6 comments:
Hello Microdot,
Quick, open Elmo’s access doors and place some box fans to exhaust the heat build-up within Elmo. Check the intake air filters, assuming there are some! They maybe too clogged with dust and this would restrict the cooling airflow. If the diodes and TTL logic get too hot, it will do terminal damage. I know those capacitors are building up charges and are now expelling off energy as heat. My God,,,Will someone please help this brilliant robot?!?!? Quick, get the life size cutout of George W. Bush so we can all pray to it like they have had so much success at Jesus Camp. Stat!!
Hello Elmo,
I hope my suggestions help you and diverted a terminal disaster.
Here is another thoughtful question. When Noah loaded up the pairs of all of the animals living on earth at the time, should the male T. Rex spoken up about his vasectomy? What about those Raptors? Should they have spoken up that they were really a gay couple and the female was really just in drag? Do ancient records show that they always had hopes of adopting?
Is it true that if you wire Elmo's circuits backwards, you can faintly hear: "Oh heeeeeres to my schweeeeet satan"?
No. Elmo would just loose 50% of his IQ.
Steve, we've tried all sorts of strategies to try to get Elmo back on track so to speak. We took your suggestion and reversed his current feed and he got this blank look and started to make a noise...it was creepy...as the volume rose I realized it sounded like The Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing Ball of Confusion...you know the 60's Temptation's hit? It was very scary, he went into some kind of dance routine and started singing Sex Machine by James Brown...still channeling the entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir, it wasn't funky and believe me, Elmo does not have a "good foot"....
Remember, all of Elmos Creationist doctrine is strictly quoted from the writings of Richard Paley.
In a recent conversation with a friend about creationists, she summed it up nicely at the end: "they are so f---ing stupid!"
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