Okay, today we are going to let little Norville,the kid with all the questions ask Elmo, The Brain Police Creationist
Know-It-All Robotic Buddy, a question about Creationist Doctrine.
Little Norville asks,"Hey Elmo, what are fossils and where do they come from?"
You are going to have to imagine the humming noise that Elmo emits and please don't be alarmed by the sparks and smoke, it's a pesky little short somewhere in his
math circuits we've been trying to diagnose lately. It doesn't affect his Creationist Science circuits, I just can't use him in Vegas anymore.
Okay...Elmo's humming has taken on a melodic bent, he's humming the Concentration thinking music....he must have his answer.
Elmo responds,"Greetings, crackle, pop...Norville...ping!
Where did fossils come from and what are they?
Simple, fossils are the buried remains of wicked men and animals that perished
4,000 years ago in the flood!...ping"
Thank you,
Elmo!
If you have a question for Elmo, please post it and we let his little friend, Norville
ask him for you!
Elmo was programmed by Dr. Richard Paley, Teacher of Divinity
and Theobiology at Fellowship University.
3 comments:
Hello Elmo,
I have many questions if it is all right. I hope I do not over heat your circuits.
How many planets and suns revolve around the earth? Do the other planets have moons or does the Earth, the center of the universe, the only one? What is the best way to dispose of the people who worship the Greek pagan beliefs?
The pagan beliefs for instance the Earth is like a ball and not flat. (Everyone knows that God sent those from the Tower of Babble to the four corners of the Earth.) Seeing the Earth’s shadow on the moon that makes it a crescent shape is just more of that liberal media propaganda. There was even a Catholic Monk who was led astray and suggested that the universe could be infinite. Even I can see where it ends when I look into the night sky. This is even made worse by that Galileo Galilei using that Devils Tool he calls a telescope. There are even more misled people like Leonard da Vinci saying that Galileo is correct.
Well I have you know that I have promptly turned his name into the inquisition! Was that wrong?
Elmo, our Creationist Robotic buddy isa bit of hypochondriac, you'll have to bear with him...I'll get him fired up and see what he has to say...
Elmo, Mr. Engineer has a few questions for you! Ready?
Wheeze...snap..pop!***ping...Ah Mr. Engineer, sir, Perhaps you can help me first, I have this strange pinging sound in my sensor and my left transistor has been throbbing on rainy days...wheeze***someitmes when I am doing math problems I get dizzy and things start swirling*** does this sound serious?PING*****
I will answer your questions in order....
1.Nobody knows, not even me....
2.There is only one moon, all others are mere mood decorations to provide atmosphere so to speak.
3.In a 350 degree oven seasoned with butter and lemon sauce, garnished with fresh grated lemon zest.
4.The earth is flat and ends at the borders of Kansas.
5.The crescent moon is the sign of Islam and you should stay indoors until it goes away.
6.You are correct. As we said earlier, planets, the stars are merely God's sense of interior decorating. Stylish. n'est pas?
8.No, report all atheists and free thinkers to your local pastor, Do not try to engage these grumpy folks in conversation!
I feel dizzy now, sometimes. Mr. Engineer, I see spots before my vision sensors, and if I could feel pain, I know I would have a head ache. PING***PING***PING!!!
Oh the pinging noise again......
Oh man, Barb is going to have a fit.
Post a Comment