Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Newt In Space

Someday, scientists will be able to discover what actually went on in the thing
known as Newt's Brainz
I won't even go into parsing the "visionary" sci fi concepts waved about by the imaginary intellectual of the Republican Party, Newt Gingrich.
His doomsday scenarios, like the EMP (Electromagnetic pulse) attack which he flaunted over the weekend has been dismissed by most nuclear experts. He did write the forward to a 2009 sci-fi novel nobody read based on the concept.
Or the giant space mirrors that would eliminate the need for streetlights.
Or his 2009 proposal for a space laser system.
His promotion of the concept of geo engineering. Heck, why waste good money on fighting global warming when we can waste trillions of dollars totally screwing up the planet forever?
Or how in 2007, he proposed a better life through video gaming. He stated in a speech that Second Life could create a better "parallel country" that could teach us how to do things that are more difficult in the real world. As we all know, Second Life has basically failed.
 Computer projection for the Super Newt Overlord System Designer of the Future...
Perhaps the is the working framework for his sequel to Asimov' classic, I Robot:
What emerges is a dude who has a very bad case of arrested development, in fact, Newt Skywalker has had his head stuck up Isaac Asimov's ass since he was a spaced out teen. In his sociopathic egocentric view of himself and his love of personal power and his view of his own relationship with the lower mortal life forms on the planet earth, he seems to have developed a fixation on the Asimov character, the "psychohistorian" Hari Seldon. He wrote about this in his 1996 memoir, To Renew America.
The self styled historian envisions himself as a grandiose figure of planet-sized ambitions. Morality is but a mere bagatell when you see yourself as super being that is reshaping the destiny of the world. In a series of doodled diagramatic sketches by Newt recently unearthed and published in Slate, he tries to illustrate his role and mission as the System Designer and Definer of Civilization with himself at the hub of a Dantesque vision of concentric circles...we the public have been consigned, quite predictably to the outer, lowest ring....
Is he planning a sequel to the Asimov classic sci fi novel on robotics, I, Robot?  I NEWT?
Newts Inferno

1 comment:

squatlo said...

Noot's sci-fi proposals don't bother me nearly as much as his terra firma fuckups. I can see the film version of his futuristic science fiction proposal to control global warming with giant air conditioners... with the soundtrack provided by The Alan Parsons Project "I Wouldn't Want to BTU"...