Wednesday, October 31, 2012

And The Winner Is.......

Official Logo Of  The BPBC
THE BRAIN POLICE BROADCASTING CORPORATION
The Undead are People, Too!

Welcome, to the first annual Brain Police Broadcasting Corporation Halloween Awards Ceremony. Here at the Brain Police, we are committed to celebrating the utmost douchebaggery, the ultimate cynically dishonest most excellent political chicanery that America has to offer. It's been tough for our judges this year especially because our nominees have been mainly Mitt Romney, Mitt Romney and Mitt Romney....though this year, we are giving a very special mention to our runner up, Paul Ryan for his Soup Kitchen family clean up photo op...luckily, Lyin Ryan didn't have to actually come into close proximity with any actual homeless or poor people, and he and his wife didn't have to touch any really yucky dirty utensils. Smooth move, Pauly.
Douchebaggery at its finest!
Mitt, though gave our judges a run for our money...just in the last 2 months he came up with a number of potentially prize winning examples of superlative douchbaggery. His rapid misfire response to the Benghazi attack on September 11th was looking like a winner, but then he threw one over the top with his attempt to panic Ohio auto workers by claiming Chrysler was sending their jobs to China. We thought we had a winner there, but we have to hand it to the bishop, even after the revelation that he had cheated the government out of 15 years of taxes by cheating his church as well, he managed to ace it all yesterday in Dayton, Ohio. After claiming he was suspending political campaigning temporarily because of Hurricane Sandy, he created an event that was a political rally disguised as a charity event. He showed his propaganda videos to his hand chosen crowd of supporters after buying $5,000 worth of canned goods from the local Dayton Walmart, distributing them to his supporters who were told to get in line and give them back to the bishop so he could talk about concerned Americans spontaneously coming together to help out their fellow citizen brothers, man! Who needs FEMA when these great Americans prove they can give canned goods when the chips are down? Then he refused to answer any reporters questions about his stated position to eliminating FEMA. Listen, Mittens, we have to hand it to you, this bit of manipulative cynicism won hands down and eclipsed everything you have accomplished before. The only way you could top it is to get your accountants to figure out how to write off the $5,000 bucks you blew on canned ravioli....
For this and all you've done, I, Mr. Microdot, would like to personally congratulate you and present you with the first annual Brain Police Gold Plated Turd Award...you deserve it and shucks, sob, sir c'mon up here and get it while it's still warm!

The First Annual Brain Police Halloween
Gold Plated Turd Award\
Presented to Mitt Romney this evening!

2 comments:

J.O.B. said...

And the crowd erupts............

squatlo said...

"I'd like to thank the Academy for this honor, especially those who supported my fake hurricane disaster relief photo ops and my running mate's pot-scrubbing show at the soup kitchen! You like me! You really, really like me!"