Leave It To Boehner

Ward, I think you were a little hard on the Boehner last night.

June, you know it was for his own good. He goes to Vegas for a week then comes sneaking back in here mumbling something about lobbyists and excessive demands. I give him his allowance, then he comes back with pockets full of cash and when you ask him about the lipstick on his jockey shorts, he mumbles something bizarre about a nice lady on the plane.  Then he claims he's just too tired to do his homework. Frankly, I think we let him get away with too much!

Ohh, Ward...he's so sensitive. He's had such a hard time lately. He works so hard trying to get to those unruly Teabag Freshmen Congressmen to vote just the right way and then...ohh, sometimes nothing seems to go right for the Boehner....you know, I think I heard him up in his room sobbing  just a few minutes ago.

You know, June, I think the Boehner might be drinking!

No, Ward, No....

June, this sensitivity you are so concerned about, these crying jags...the martini glasses in the bathroom, those telltale cocktail onions and suspicious toothpicks...

Oh, Ward, I don't know...you don't want to needlessly upset him....

(the door knocks and the obnoxious neighbor kid, Ron Paul enters ...)

Hello Mrs. Boehner, Hello, Mr. Boehner and Mrs, Boehner, I must say you look absolutely stunning this evening. I hope I'm not disturbing you, but I just wanted to see the Boehner...

Say, Mrs. Boehner....(Ron pulls a crumpled newspaper out of his jacket pocket and flings it on the table)

Have you seen this?


Ohhhh, Ward, get the Boehner down here right now....