No Free Pizza For You.....

Wazz More Amurrican than Pizza? Every ones like a da Pizza! Stuffed Crust, Garbage, Extra Cheeze Pleeze! Pineapple and ham...Only Commie weirdos don't like pizza! And who could turn down FREE PIZZA? FREE FRIKIN PIZZA!!!!! Cause if you live near a "fraking zone" this is your lucky day! If one of those "fraking suckers"  explodes you are gonna get FREE PIZZA! An entire goddam pie, (within reason, I mean let's not abuse the topping thingie...offer only good for a "special combo only." Remember, Chevron's yearly profits declined in 2013 and the firm made just barely over $21 billion. You weren't really expected pepperoni, too, were you? the pizza shop confirmed that about 100 of the certificates were distributed by Chevron.) a ) and and a liter of soft drink of your choice, well, as long as it's a Pepsi product, but hell, who doesn't like Pepsi? That was the offer made to Pennsylvania residents in Green County last week after a well exploded on February 11th, killing one worker and burning out of control for over a week and still leaking gas into the atmosphere.  This is the real deal! If you love pizza, then sell your house and buy a piece of property in a frikin frakin zone! Here's the authorized Chevron offer and coupon!

You'd of thunk that anyone sitting on a fraking site would realize that they are sitting on a gold mine! But a few so called Americans don't think so and even more so, THEY DON"T WANT THEIR FREE FRIKIN FRAKING PIZZA! The CEO of Exxon/Mobil,  Rex Tillerson whose job is to promote the hydraulic fracturing enabling the recent oil and gas boom, and fight regulatory oversight. The oil company is the biggest natural gas producer in the U.S., relying on the controversial drilling technology to extract it for example, doesn't want his free pizza. Neither does his neighbor, Dick Armey. Tillerson, Armey and his wife have joined in a lawsuit to prevent a fracking operation water tower from being built near their Dallas area luxury ranch estates claiming that it would create a noise nuisance and traffic hazards." Trucks would be needed to haul and pump water.
Tillerson and Armey's primary concern seems to lie in damage to the aesthetics and privacy of the property in which, as he repeatedly reminded the audience at a Bartonville town meeting in November, he’s invested millions of hard-fracked dollars. We might focus more on the danger of water contamination that tends to accompany fracking infrastructure, for which XTO Energy currently faces criminal charges in Pennsylvania. But what is Pennsylvania doing these days to deal with any environmental damage that fracking has caused or could cause in the future? Hell, you can't even legally analyze the patent protect ingredients of fracking fluid unless you have have a special legal dispensation, and this stuff is another potential gold mine, as the NorthEast runs out of salt for the roads. It seems that Pennsylvania is selling it's used fracking fluid waste as the magic ultimate deicing solution to any takers:

Meanwhile,  in Pungesti, Romania, a massive anti Chevron fracking movement is taking shape. The peasant farmers are even conducting religious exorcisms to rid themselves of fracking demons! Maybe the Romanians would like a slice of free Pizza? I don't think that BobTown Pizza has a branch in Romania, but  perhaps Chevron should consider a PR Campaign of Free Cabbage Rolls and Yoghurt and what the hell? Vodka for the masses! 

UPDATE: Rep. Jared Polis (D-Colo.) has released a statement kindly inviting Tillerson to an exciting new club:
“I would like to officially welcome Rex to the ‘Society of Citizens Really Enraged When Encircled by Drilling’ (SCREWED). This select group of everyday citizens has been fighting for years to protect their property values, the health of their local communities, and the environment. We are thrilled to have the CEO of a major international oil and gas corporation join our quickly multiplying ranks.”