Sunday, May 27, 2007
8,000 YEARS B.C.!
Today in beautiful Petersburg, Kentucky, a suburb of Cincinatti, Ohio, the 27 million dollar Creationist Museum opens amid much controversy and planned protest from supporters of evolution and educators. The Museum claims to show definitive proof that the strict American fundamentalist biblical interpretation of the creation of the world is correct once and for all.
In a series of controversial dioramas they depict humans living along side dinosaurs on a newly created planet where all living things live peacefully side by side.
They will prove that the Earth is only 10,000 years old and the fossil evidence that evolutionists claim to have is just the remains of sinners and unbelievers that were punished in the great flood which laid down all sedentary rock strata on the planet. They also will demonstrate that the faulty evolutionary theory of the progressive stages in mans development are patently false and supposed specimens of neaderthal man are only deformed and sickly specimens of humans who developed severe arthritis from the great flood.
If anything, this diorama of cave women fighting over who has the right to cook dinner for their lord and master, cave man, proves the theory of de- evolution to me, because these cave ladies are much foxier than any normal Kentucky female of the fundamentalist persuasion today!
The next diorama is a tribute to the self proclaimed creation scientist, Dr. Richard Paley, a teacher of Divinity and Theology at Fellowship University and his ill fated expedition in the summer of 2000 in which he set out to prove that pterosaurs are still alive and flying! Only now, the truth can be told! Dr. Paley is back at his job and the investigation into what happened to three of his intrepid team members is still ongoing. This diorama is an attempt to explain the strange nonsense syllables he keeps uttering over and over.
The final diorama I am going to show you in this preview of the museum is probably the most controversial. It not only proves that dinosaurs existed at the same time as man, but modern cars have existed for at leat 10,000 years! Well, this car isn't so modern, it resembles a 1955 Chevrolet, which might as well be 10,000 years old! This disproves the popular nonsense images we all have in our heads of the Flintstones and their Lincoln Log Continental! In this incredible image, a dinosaur of the subspecie cottonus sweatsockasaurus actually attacks and tries to eat the prehistoric proto-Chevrolet like vehicle! Luckily for primitive man, the sweatsockasaurus was easily detectable from a long distance by its very distinctive odor.
Now if that isn't proof!
I think I know where you are going on your next family outing! Beautiful Petersburg, Kentucky, also home of the largest plaster lawn ornament manufacturing company in America!
EXTRA! PUT ON YOUR THINKING CAPS! THEBRAINPOLICE CREATIONIST ANTI SCIENCE FAIR IS COMING UP! WILL YOUR PROJECT BE THE WINNER?