Sunday, May 27, 2007

8,000 YEARS B.C.!


Today in beautiful Petersburg, Kentucky, a suburb of Cincinatti, Ohio, the 27 million dollar Creationist Museum opens amid much controversy and planned protest from supporters of evolution and educators. The Museum claims to show definitive proof that the strict American fundamentalist biblical interpretation of the creation of the world is correct once and for all.
In a series of controversial dioramas they depict humans living along side dinosaurs on a newly created planet where all living things live peacefully side by side.
They will prove that the Earth is only 10,000 years old and the fossil evidence that evolutionists claim to have is just the remains of sinners and unbelievers that were punished in the great flood which laid down all sedentary rock strata on the planet. They also will demonstrate that the faulty evolutionary theory of the progressive stages in mans development are patently false and supposed specimens of neaderthal man are only deformed and sickly specimens of humans who developed severe arthritis from the great flood.
If anything, this diorama of cave women fighting over who has the right to cook dinner for their lord and master, cave man, proves the theory of de- evolution to me, because these cave ladies are much foxier than any normal Kentucky female of the fundamentalist persuasion today!
The next diorama is a tribute to the self proclaimed creation scientist, Dr. Richard Paley, a teacher of Divinity and Theology at Fellowship University and his ill fated expedition in the summer of 2000 in which he set out to prove that pterosaurs are still alive and flying! Only now, the truth can be told! Dr. Paley is back at his job and the investigation into what happened to three of his intrepid team members is still ongoing. This diorama is an attempt to explain the strange nonsense syllables he keeps uttering over and over.
The final diorama I am going to show you in this preview of the museum is probably the most controversial. It not only proves that dinosaurs existed at the same time as man, but modern cars have existed for at leat 10,000 years! Well, this car isn't so modern, it resembles a 1955 Chevrolet, which might as well be 10,000 years old! This disproves the popular nonsense images we all have in our heads of the Flintstones and their Lincoln Log Continental! In this incredible image, a dinosaur of the subspecie cottonus sweatsockasaurus actually attacks and tries to eat the prehistoric proto-Chevrolet like vehicle! Luckily for primitive man, the sweatsockasaurus was easily detectable from a long distance by its very distinctive odor.
Now if that isn't proof!
I think I know where you are going on your next family outing! Beautiful Petersburg, Kentucky, also home of the largest plaster lawn ornament manufacturing company in America!

EXTRA! PUT ON YOUR THINKING CAPS! THEBRAINPOLICE CREATIONIST ANTI SCIENCE FAIR IS COMING UP! WILL YOUR PROJECT BE THE WINNER?

19 comments:

Barb said...

I don't get the idea of protesters at a privately funded museum. Do educated Americans protest churches that believe in miracles, virgin birth and resurrection of Christ? NOt yet. but here's a religiously based museum about science --which didn't use gov't funds --and the secularists think they have to protest it? Why? What are they afraid of? It can't be that kids won't be able to use the scientific method and do research and get science degrees and do scientific work --because thousands of creationists already do that --like my husband. Like the head of the Human Genome Project. like the U. of Iowa astronomer with 69 peer reviewed articles to his credit --and hundreds more creationists who have advanced degrees in science.'
See --evolution has got to be believed or they'll burn you at the stake!

microdot said...

Afraid of your "ideas"? Threatened by the thought that there might be something to them? Please!
Indignance and revulsion is more like it! Indignant that a group of people could so serioulsly warp science to form fit their particular belief and then try to force it through legislation and continuous propaganda and religious manipulation on the rest of the world!
I truly consider creationist thought, especially the extreme brand fostered by this museum to be crackpot lunacy of the first degree.
If you are sincere in your belief of creationism, I consider you a very gullible weak thinker.
If you are among those who craft this bizarre pseudo nonsense, then you are responsible for the intellectual decline of America!

WhyNot said...

ROFLMAO! Unreal. Man, the mind truly boggles. Is the security in the USA so lax that all asylum nutcases have escaped?

Then again, come to think of it, only in the early hours of this morning, when coming back from work, I had to speed like crazy to escape from this giant pterodactyl who was trying to claw my car off the road to take me to his good lord and make me see the light.

It then screeched in frustration and attempted to drive me off the road by firing a round of huge fucking bibles in my car's rear end.

27 million bucks eh? Wow. Imagine how many ppl dying of hunger in America you could feed with that...

WhyNot said...

Barb,

About your 100s of creationist who have advanced degrees in science... lol, I'm glad they are not the ones who design microwaves, computers, cars, trains, airplanes, etc.

Egad, can you imagine the worldwide wreck?

I think I'll instead stick to the view of the MILLIONS of scientists who actually know what they are talking about and haven't gone gaga in the head from reading bibles from morning till evening.

Barb said...

My point exactly, whynot, is that creationists DO invent things that work. Take the guy with Du Pont, I believe, who invented the post a note glue, e.g. --take Kepler, Newton, and Geo. Washington Carver --all creationists. Take the astronomy prof at u of Iowa and the microbiologist at LeHigh --and so many more if I just had the list in front of me.

Evolution has nothing to contribute to the invention of the microwave. You don't have to believe in Darwin to invent --to be a good physician --to do well in science in grad school --to be an expert in cell biology and astronomy, etc.

But these scientists today who even just believe in Intelligent Design (not necessarily anti-evolution), are now, more and more often, being subjected to litmus tests to get tenure and publications --if they don't believe orthodox Darwin, they can lose out--such is the hard core disrespect for these credentialed scientists who believe in God --but especially those who do not believe Darwin.

As for Darwin doubters being able to do science--take my husband-- he did undergrad research at the Argonne National Lab --and he did PHD work under Dr. Doisey on Questor to lower cholesterol --the research on the rats. Doisey's father got the nobel prize for discovery of vitamin K. My husband didn't write for the PhD because he was getting the MD at the time.
He was one of the top 2 students getting a superior in genetics in his med school class (150 doctors) and he says genetics make evolution look very unlikely to him --as well as the fossil record. Says if evolution were true, we should be standing knee deep in trans fossils. That's where S.J. Gould changed Darwin's theory --with a speculation to account for the lack of fossils. I remember when Time magazine first reported on Gould's theory of Punctuated Equilibrium. The headline said something like, "No Missing Link." Darwin himself had said if the fossils didn't turn up, his theory would lack proof.

And so it does lack proof. You just believe Darwin religiously. He represents orthodoxy to you --and you ASSUME it's true like the law of entropy, gravity, theory of relativitiy, etc. --but it's the weakest of all the theories in being proveable, demonstrable, POSSIBLE, etc.

My husband remembers when Time magazine interviewed some top evolutionists and one of them said, "Sometimes I just wish I were in something more intellectually honest --like used car sales!" Patterson of the British Museum observed that so much of what is said in the museums is conjecture, not backed by evidence. "Conjecture City," Hubby calls it. Read an article from National Geog and not all the statements of conjecture --"Possibly.... Most likely --apparently .... perhaps...." And they fictionalize little scenarios on prehistoric transitions.

(Again, I'm not disparaging Darwin's work in classifying the organisms --nor his observation of adaptation through natural selection and the survival of the fittest. And there are mutations that get passed on --but no creatures have jumped the fence to become a different family of creatures. Each produces after it's own kind --all the way back to the first couple with the DNA of all human beings.

Barb said...

Microdot said: "Afraid of your "ideas"? Threatened by the thought that there might be something to them? Please!"

Did I say that? I couldn't find it. That's not what I was thinking at the time. I was thinking that the demonstrators aren't on good grounds to oppose this group since they raised their own funds and have a constitutional right to believe in the bible --literally or otherwise. The demonstrators do have a right to criticize and carry on like the banshees from whom they descended (heh heh) --but they are just plainly wrong to think this museum will influence students so that they can't be good scientists some day. Greater scientists then Darwin pre-date and post-date him.

Nikolay said...

It can't be that kids won't be able to use the scientific method and do research and get science degrees and do scientific work --because thousands of creationists already do that --like my husband. Like the head of the Human Genome Project.
Obviously you can't help lying. The head of the Human Genome Project is not a creationist, merely a Christian, he believes in evolution and he's totally appalled by the way creationists distorted his views to serve their propaganda. And yes, you have all the rights to be crazy and it's wrong to protest against these rights.

microdot said...

Thank you Nikolay, yes, Francis Collins, the head of the Human Genome Project is a Christian and believes in a theory called "Theistic Evolution" which purports that the Universe arose from nothingness 14 billion years ago. He also admits to not knowing the precise mechanism in which life arose on earth and does believe that once it arose, evolutiuon and natural selection were the driving forces in rise on humankind.
He holds that what makes man different than the apes is our intelligence and spiritual nature.

This though, is only one in thousands of attempts by Barb to mischaracterize and mould facts to support her internet ministry.
She writes so many words and makes so many claims that they become a snowball of misinformation which would require a staff to accurately fact check and properly document.

It would be almost comical, which it is sometimes, except that her and manically driven religious zealots are trying to force this idiocy down the throats of the nation through take over of school boards and state legislation.

America is beginning to see the effects of the destruction of it's ecducational system. As we begin to dumb down and now rank I believe almost 38th in the world iin education, China is moving steadily ahead by investing in its human capital and focusing on the quality of education each student is exposed to.

WhyNot said...

"Obviously you can't help lying"

Lol, it's a condition one acquires from reading too much bible.

Barb said...

Shame on you all for calling me a liar. That's judgmental --because a lie has to be intentional. I didn't know he was a theistic evolutionist --I had heard he was a Christian and an ID scientist --and many of those, but not all, are creationists. And really, most darwinists don't like ID scientists any more than they like the 7-day creationists because the classical darwinists don't believe in God at all. Perhaps he doesn't call himself an ID scientist either. I don't remember where I even heard about him or read about him. But I knew He was a believer in the miracles of Jesus --i.e. a bonified Christian and something I read made me think he was a creationist. He does believe in creation--but he's one of those inconsistent ones in believing in miracles and Darwin's method also.

Barb said...

Nikolay --why haven't you started your blog? and profile?

By the way --there are no lies here about my husband. So there are SOME scientists who don't believe Darwin was wholly correct.

Barb said...

By the way, my two-faced, fairweather friend, Microdot --it is NOT true that America's academic issues have anything to do with creation science in the schools because there is no creation science, per se, in the schools. If science rankings aren't good, you only have Darwin's theory to blame --or something else --but not creationists.

Barb said...

I do want to clarify that I did not say my husband was one of top two students in his med. class --just in the genetics class where they give 2 superiors per class and he got one of them.

microdot said...

Barb, it was the poster, Nicolay who called you a liar. I said that you habitually misquote and use mountains of factually inaccurate statements to support your positions. Whether you do it intentionally was not my point.
Your fervor seems to obscure the need to be accurate and often you mistake quantity for quality.

steve said...

Wasn't one of Darwin's best friends a Unitarian Minister? And his wife a devoute Anglican? I think Darwin himself believed that : "design in nature proved the existence of God" (wikiquote)

My point is, is that even though we all have a wide variation on ideas about this topic, no reason to devalue someone elses ideas or oppinions just because they don't mesh with your own.

Darwin's own life bears this out, even though Darwin's ideas were extremely radical for the time and went square against the grain of common belief. He still was able to maintain close ties with his church community. He even remained married to a deeply devout wife.

microdot said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
microdot said...

Have I insulted your beliefs, Steve?
Again, I reiterate. The problem is with strict creationist biblical interpretation that militantly tries to force it's mistaken dogma on us through the misuse of education and the political system.
I do find Barbs beliefs to be brutally infantile and her attempts ot disguise them and use religious guilt to manipulate us into accepting them blatantly offensive.

In my world, I can accept people who belive that a god was the force that set creation in motion.

Madame Barb belives that it all happend 10,000 years ago and an entire slew of related ideas that are just plain false and refutable on so many levels. She throws facts and statements around like confetti to obscure the issue.

She wants us all to belive it and she is beating everyone over the head until their brains get tenderized enough to say uncle...

This I find brutally ridiculous and if I choose to use humor as weapon, well, I will!

steve said...

Oh no, not at all, I was just trying to play mediator between both camps by showing how even Darwin and his Anglican wife could live in harmony. hahaha, it was a poor attempt..

microdot said...

Why do I feel that this is a Rodney King Moment?