Friday, November 22, 2013

I Can Smell The Future

Here it is, in all of it mighty Magnificence, The 2013 Youabian Puma! Proudly unveiled at the LA Auto show this week, this mega machine can be yours for the basic starting price or 1.1 Million Dollars! Notice the tiny human in the background of the video which only serves to underline the massive muscled might of this monster. The "Larger Than Life" Puma was designed by LA Plastic surgeon, Dr. K. Youabian who might have been influenced by some of the silicone implants he built his dreams on. Sort of like what you might expect if a Corvette had a naughty little one night stand in a back alley with a Hummer. You want specs? Oh babe, we got Your specs right here!

Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder but we certainly can't imagine someone liking this four-seat cabrio which has a whopping overall length of 242 inches with a 163.5-inch long wheelbase. The vehicle is 93 inches wide and 72 inches tall so it takes up a lot of space at the motor show and for no good reason whatsoever since it seems the "Puma" has been hit with the ugly stick numerous times.
It sits on massive 20-inch chrome tacky alloys shod in 44-inch tires and comes with Volvo-like headlamps and taillights taken from a Buick Enclave. The "Puma" was built by a local automaker and is apparently created for "those individuals who dare to be different than the ordinary." Its hideous body is allegedly made from aluminum and fiberglass components and comes with a folding hard top.
Under the curvy hood is a V8 7.0-liter LS7 engine from General Motors delivering 505 bhp (377 kW) and 470 lb-ft (636 Nm) via a 6-speed automatic gearbox. This hardware arrangement is good enough for a 0-60 mph (0-96 km/h) sprint in 5.9 seconds and enables the thirsty "Puma" to return 14 mpg US (16 mpg UK or 16.8 liters / 100 km) in the city and 22 mpg US (26.4 mpg UK or 10.6 liters / 100 km) on the highway.
The Youabian Puma (described as a "pleasure vehicle") can be yours for a mere costs 1.1M USD.

This only proves the futility of satire, because what ever ridiculous fantasy you once imagined in the past is most certainly going to become real once you let the idea run wild in the fertile fields of a reality more ridiculous than anything you could ever dream up! Haven' I seen this some where before?
Ahem, this is a scene from the 1969 film, The Magic Christian which was adapted from the book of the same name by Terry Southern. The film starred Peter Sellers as the richest man in the world, Sir Guy Grand and Ringo Starr as a homeless guy sleeping in a park who Sellers adopts as his son and heir. Guy Grand has made it his purpose in life to prove that money can buy anything and that he can make any one do anything for a buck. In the scene from the film, you might recognize a young Graham Chapman who along with John Cleese were co writers of the screen play. Cleese has a great cameo in the film as well as Raquel Welch...Some of the songs are performed by the British band, Badfinger and the hit, Come And Get it was written by Sir Paul McCartney...but even though the concept Automobile, The British Zeus seems to have become reality almost 45 years later, I'm still waiting for the final scene to finally take shape..though, I am beginning to think I can actually smell the future:
The song is Something In The Air by Thunderclap Newman. Magnificent!

No comments: