Saturday, July 05, 2014

Always Look On The Brighter Side Of Life

You have to always look on the positive side, after the Hobby Lobby Supreme Court Decision, the Hobby Lobby guys are taking out full page ad spreads in papers insisting that Christianity is the only true teacher of morality and provider of law and that the founding fathers agreed.
But an opportunity for would be religious tyrants is an opportunity for all and I think it's time for me to assert my own religious freedom by filing suit with the country so that I don't have to pay that part of my taxes that supports any kind of education. Because as my religious leaders, Pink Floyd sang, "We don't need no education!" As Justice Bader-Gisnberg suggested, every man is now his own religion. I won't pay part of my Sales taxes that support executions, of my Federal taxes that support invasions of other countries. It's against my religion. 
And what is my religion? Well that's my business because the government doesn't get to say one is real and another isn't. I invite you to enter into the blessed Holy Assembly of Velocitarians. Our scriptures are short and simple and I invite you to listen to a short sermon based on the holy Velocitarian scripture as interpreted by by one of our most sanctified prophets, 
The Very Wicked Mr. Wilson Pickett:
Get your motor running
Head out on the highway.
We demand exemption from speed limits and most traffic laws. That's my religion - what's yours?

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