Tuesday, November 04, 2014

And When I Die.....

France seems to be the center of a real subversive lawn decoration culture. What elsewhere might be an innocent interest garden ornaments, here can develop into a full blown obsessive syndrome. I am going to publish a gallery of lawn display photographs I have been "collecting" over the years. Some of the displays are a few urban square meters crammed with fountains, plaster animals,  miniature reproductions of classic architecture, working windmills, gypsy caravans and the occasional plant peaking out from the manicured gravel landscape. Some are the incredible, obsessive evidence of a lifetime wasted collecting hundreds, thousands of plaster figures and sculptures, like a personal empire populated by imaginary armies of dwarves and cute little animals running rampant over their imaginary kingdoms. I really don't find anything wrong with this. It fuels an entire industry of lawn decoration and I like looking at this stuff!
The range of lawn decorations goes from cute little dwaves...happy animals and life size figures to downright raunchy and obscenely silly. Today I saw a collection of nains de jardin in a resale store hidden in the back corner with the lable "Fuck Nains"....here, above, is one of the cuter lil' guys.
See, I rarely think about my own mortality. A few years ago, I jokingly mentioned to a friend, who is a trained professional sculpture, that I would like to be cremated and have my ashes put into a nasty little lawn dwarf. Maybe if the technology existed, it could have a solar panel that powered a hidden speaker that would have a motion sensor so every time an unwitting victim walked by, the dwarf would say, "Hey lady! Psssst! Hey, over here...I wanna show you something...."
My buddy said if I sent him a drawing, he would do it in stone. What a legacy! Future generations warning their kids not to go over to "that part of the lawn" because their great uncle Microdot is still lurking in the bushes. I kinda liked that.
The Bios Urn
I suppose I remembered this after seeing this link to a new product to recycle your self as a tree. Not a bad idea...but frankly humans have been doing this for centuries. The Druids placed and acorn in the mouth of a great man when he was buried. But it's the 21st Century, so why not let the free market decide if this is good idea and make a few bucks out of it on the side? 
You don't find many designers working in the funeral business thinking about more creative ways for you to leave this world (and maybe they should be). However, the product designer Gerard Moline has combined the romantic notion of life after death with an eco solution to the dirty business of the actual, you know, transition.
Bios Urn is a biodegradable urn made from coconut shell, compacted peat and cellulose and inside it contains the seed of a tree. Once your remains have been placed into the urn, it can be planted and then the seed germinates and begins to grow. You even have the choice to pick the type of plant you would like to become, depending on what kind of planting space you prefer.
A pretty nifty idea. Maybe he'll actually make a few bucks with it. A great conversational holiday gift item for the entire family. Needless to say, the party broke up....
I like my lawn dwarf idea, but lately here in France, there has a been a reinfestation of these nasty little buggers. Popping up like poisonous mushrooms after a radioactive rain...If you see one, you have to smash it with a shovel before it multiplies.........

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