Monday, June 14, 2010

Live Fat And Die Outraged

Last Week, Barack Obama issued this executive order under the Patient Protection and Affordable Health Care Act which declared:
There is established within the Department of Health and Human Services, the National Prevention, Health Promotion, and Public Health Council (Council).
Among other things, the purpose of said council is to:
(c) provide recommendations to the President and the Congress concerning the most pressing health issues confronting the United States and changes in Federal policy to achieve national wellness, health promotion, and public health goals, including the reduction of tobacco use, sedentary behavior, and poor nutrition;
Almost too predictably, this act provoked OUTRAGE! UTTER OUTRAGE! Only in profound Inner Dumbfuckistan could this be a bad thing. On the one hand, they whine about our spending on health care and on the other, whine about any initiative which actually stands a chance of improving both spending and outcomes.
The Council is comprised of cabinet officers and policymakers, but that doesn't stop the wingers from jumping off into the Imagination Canyon where they opine about what "advisors" the President will appoint, naming Jeremiah Wright and Bill Ayers as prime examples of the evil about to descend upon our nation. Oh, and Dr. Kevorkian, so as to raise the specter of "death panels" one. more. time.
I could quote them, but then I'd have to link and it's really just too ridiculous to link. If you really want to read the insanity for yourself, try googling the term "lifestyle behavior modification" or "nanny state liberation front."
Of course, this is just a riff on the "big government is bad" set of conservative talking points. They really hate big government until they love it. They don't want to make lifestyle changes, but are outraged -- OUTRAGED -- that Big Government hasn't stopped the oil spilling into the Gulf, sent Superman to clean it up, and restarted drilling in deepwater worldwide.

Maybe there is a new prescription blue pill from a multinational drug company to combat Outrage fatigue...of course, consult your physician if you experience any side effects such as dizziness, shortness of breath, rashes, neuritis, neuralgia, the heartbreak of psoriasis...

5 comments:

mud_rake said...

I've noticed that there are an awful lot of fat Christians in America. Why are Christians eating themselves to an early grave? Do they want to meet Jesus extra-early? How would the pig in the photograph above present himself to Jesus upon meeting Him at the Gates of Heaven?

Did Jesus ever preach obesity? 'Blessed are the fat for they...'

I asked about the seeming prevalence of fat fundamentalist [c]hristians on a blog operated by a fat fundamentalist, but my comment was summarily deleted. Embarrassed, I suppose.

There are two self-identified fundamentalist [c]hristians of whom I have knowledge and both are tubbies. Does Jesus like fat women?

Engineer of Knowledge said...

Hello Microdot,
What a good posting and I just loved the picture. I think I saw this person in my local Wal-Mart shopping in one of those scooters to get his weekly supply of Twinkies.

Keep up the good work my friend.

microdot said...

I had to restrain myself from my first evil photoshop impulse for the tee shirt...
2 fat 2 fuck......
I never claimed to be a classy guy....

Engineer of Knowledge said...

Oh Microdot,
You should have gone with that one complemented by the Dead Kennedy's song, "Too Drunk to Fuck."

Laci the Chinese Crested said...

"One thin mint!"

My hypocritical fundamentalist ex-girlfriend that I had a few naughty weekends with is now a tub (looks like Dawn French).

Not that there's a correlation, but...