Thursday, May 26, 2011

And Our Next Contestant Is.....

Mr. Gingrich, Newt, sir, are you still in the competition? I'm sorry, sir, I wasn't sure...well are you ready? Because you are slated to do the next walk on....Yes, your speedo looks lovely, red white and blue sequins, very patriotic, sir, but shouldn't you be wearing a brassiere? Sorry, I didn't mean to offend, but look at what happened when when Mr. Cain did his walk on...I mean, I, well, feel sorry for him. Part of him was wiggling East and the other parts were heading for the hills...Well, perhaps, that's part of the appeal to your audience...they like a well fed, prosperous candidate, I guess. It must feed into their fantasies.
Speaking of fantasies, sir, I think you've got a bit of competition with Mr. Santorum. That was quite a dance routine he was doing in his star spangled mankini. I think he really has a handle of the repressed conservative homosexual vote must be a lot more prevalent than anyone suspected!
Did you get a load of Mitt? I didn't know you could get a crease like that in a bathing suit. It must be the starch in the legendary Mormon underwear he wears under that thing.
Thank God Mr. Trump went on first...the man wasn't wearing anything but his long wind tossed toupee and I don't think he was aware of it...He was raving about his new outfit and his fantastic new tailor and how much it cost...You saw it? Pretty scary, huh? I don't think that will make it to the final cut, if you know what I mean....
Wait a second, there's another contestant here that they are scheduling in front of's, oh my gawd, I don't believe it! Sarah Palin! The reviews are coming in already, sir! Mr. Gingrich, maybe you'e better start working on your dance routine, because Sarah's one tough cookie and she's got buns of steel!
Just check out some of these Tweets twittering in:

1. This is a masterstroke. Everyone has been caught off guard. The Lefties are totally flummoxed. They expected to dominate the news with Bailey and the Caller story, now its SARAH IS COMING.
2. Washington will be in complete turmoil. They thought they might get Sarah to reconsider. and stay out. She’s not. She’s coming in. The Donor Class now knows that she will be in the game. This frustrates Mittens, TPaw, and most of all, the Bush Family.
3. This tells me something else: Palin has her TO&E almost ramped and ready. There is more behind the scenes than we know. State by state websites are probably ramped up, using O4P as the skeletal front. The fundraising machine is probably amped and ready. The FEC papers are filled out and ready to file.
4. Her position papers, some of them genuinely radical, are ready to go.
5. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, prepare for genuine, on the ground, protracted infantry warfare. This will be All Eastern Front, All The Time.
Expect this to be an extremely long and protracted effort that will take up the next 18 months of our lives. The Country is Worth It.
Remember, people gave their lives so we could bang away on a computers and vote our consciences. McCain spent five years in a box so we could do this stuff.
Do not forget who made the next 18 months possible. Men who laid down their lives at places like Gettysburg, Chancellorsville, Belleau Wood, Midway, Peleileu, the Chosin Resevoir, Khe Sanh, and Fallujah, made it possible for us to fight for the life of our country.
Oh, and don’t forget to seek God’s guidance and fortification in prayer. I intend to do that. Haven’t done much of it lately. That’s a part of my life that needs to change. Sarah’s example is a good one.
The road ahead for Palin, her family, her team, and for us, is a long and bitter one. But there have been tougher, blacker days. Mr. Churchill spoke to the King’s Subjects for the first time as Prime Minister on May 19, 1940 on the BBC. The British Expeditionary Force had just been unceremoniously expelled from the Continent, courtesy of the Panzertruppen. France was well on its way to becoming a German satrapy. And all of England would come under the ferocious assault of the Deutches Luftwaffe within a month.
Chruchill was stern in his address. He did not mince words. He told his fellow subjects of the enormity of the task at hand, and of the apparent imminence of invasion of the British Isles. Having made his speech, he finished with a peroration that has come down to the ages and I believe applies here:
“Today is Trinity Sunday. Centuries ago words were written to be a call and a spur to the faithful servants of Truth and Justice: ‘Arm yourselves, and be ye men of valour, and be in readiness for the conflict; for it is better for us to perish in battle than to look upon the outrage of our nation and our altar. As the will of God is in Heaven, even so let it be.’
Cheez-o-Peeza I just came in my pants...
(these were verbatim posts from the extremely delusional Conservatives4Palin site, okay, the cumming in my pants part wasn't there, I just made that up...)

Actually, this is more like the trailer for The Stand by Stephen King  than a Beauty Contest....
Maybe you should put the brassiere on, Mr. Gingrich.....

1 comment:

mud_rake said...

Oh, lord, what a clutch of misfits the GOP is potentially offering the voters of the U.S. to serve as the leader of the Free World!

Makes you wonder about the intelligence level of my fellow citizens when 30% of them will vote for X because they hate Y.