Monday, August 08, 2011

My Voter Eligibility Test.....

The cunning plan of the conservatives to seize and hold utter power in America seems to be based on dragging us all back into a repressive past, where only property owning men of the correct ethnic background with the proper political beliefs are the only ones deemed worthy of having the right to vote.
The latest assault on voting rights is occurring in of all places, why should we be surprised? Wisconsin!
Not only is the Republican party engaged in specifically targeted misinformation campaigns to "assist" voters in casting inelligible ballots, but they are trying to ram through one of the most restrictive voter registration programs in America. They want every registered voter to have a specially issued photo voter id card, which must be issued by the Wisconsin Department of Motor Vehicles.  Of course, this eliminates the concept of same day registration, it requires a special trip to an office and time wasted in bureaucratic procedures and of course, a fee.
Now for the extra special little kick in the groin: the state is trying to eliminate Department of Motor Vehicle Offices, in their ever trotted out spector of budget necessities...we won't even go into the obvious idiocy of the costs of the bureaucratic costs involved in the id card plan, but the offices being closed are coincidentally in inner city and traditional Democratic Districts.
A as a public service from thebrainpolice, we would like to provide a link for Wisconsin voters to explain the requirements as they stand today to legally be registered to vote in the upcoming recalls scheduled for August 9th and the 16th. Click here for info!
But perhaps it's time to launch an offensive here...maybe it's time to make voters pass a simple logic/literacy awareness test. Requiring just a little bit of knowledge might be all it takes to weed out the abject tea brained morons and make our election process Bachmann Proof!
Here's my quite reasonable test, how do you stand up to the average tea brained moron? Pencils ready?

1. Which of the following people was not involved in writing the US Constitution?
a. George Washington
b. Alexander Hamilton
c. Jesus of Nazareth
d. Benjamin Franklin
2. If all morons are Republican and Tim is a moron, then
a. Tim is a duck
b. Tim is Russian
c. Muhammad is a Republican
d. Tim is a Republican
3. Which of the following is true about Paul Revere’s ride?
a. That Revere fired warning gunshots
b. That Revere rang warning bells
c. That Revere warned that the British were coming
d. That Revere warned the British to leave
4. Consider this rule: If you have no reasonable basis for loathing a black politician but loathe him anyway, then you are a racist.  Now consider this fact: Most teabaggers have no reasonable basis for loathing Barack Obama (a black politician), but they loathe him anyway.  Which of the following is necessarily true?
a. Most teabaggers are racists
b. Most teabaggers are sexual deviants
c. Most teabaggers are intellectual crustaceans
d. Barack Obama deserves it
5. Why did France gift the Statue of Liberty to the United States?
a. To remind Americans to avoid deficit spending
b. To thank the United States for the Eiffel Tower
c. To bribe the United States into intervening in World War II
d. To express admiration for America’s free institutions
6. If government spending helps to create jobs and you want to create jobs, then you should
a. Promote government spending
b. Oppose government spending
c. Promote destroying all government
d. Oppose anything Barack Obama is for
7.  The ‘shot heard ‘round the world’ was fired in
a. Texas
b. Hawaii
c. Alaska
d. Massachusetts
8.  If anything that promotes personal responsibility is good and President Obama’s health-care initiative (the Affordable Care Act) promotes personal responsibility, then
a. President Obama’s health-care initiative is bad
b. President Obama doesn’t have any health-care initiative
c. President Obama is a socialist
d. President Obama’s health-care initiative is good
9.     George Washington and Ben Franklin were
a. Catholics
b. Deists
c. Evangelical Christians
d. Muslim jihadists
10. If ignorant mammals should not vote and teabaggers are ignorant mammals, then teabaggers
a. Should vote twice each
b. Should promote measures to prevent the elderly, minorities, students, and educated people from voting
c. Should vote for themselves
d. Should not vote
Answer Key:
1                   c
2                   d
3                   c
4                   a
5                   d
6                   a
7                   d
8                   d
9                   b
10                 d
If you got one wrong, you are an idiot.  If you got two wrong, you are a tea brain and should not be allowed to vote.  (It’s likely that even if the correct answers were presented in bold italic type, most tea brains would answer at least two incorrectly.)

No comments: