l'Anglais

“English is essentially Norse as spoken by a gang of French thugs.”—Benct Philip Jonsson

“English is essentially a language that uses vowels no other language would accept.”—Luís Henrique

“English is what you get from Normans trying to pick up Saxon girls.”—Bryan Maloney

“English is essentially a French menu stuttered by a fish-and-chips dealer.”—Kala Tunu

“English is essentially the works of Joyce with the hard bits taken out.”—Jon Hanna

“English is essentially all exceptions and no rules.”—Jonathan Bettencourt
—A selection of “Essentialist Explanations.” Thanks to the Penguin Press for pointing out this gem.