Tuesday, November 13, 2012

My Inner Right Wing Nut

General Buck Turgidson Reacts To The Petraeus Scandal 
If you sanely try to analyze the Petraeus affair, you might consider that, once upon a time, a long time ago, generals who won wars were celebrated and those who lost them were relegated. Not so much anymore. American-style war has become so commercialized that winning or losing is secondary to operating the military as a corporate profit center. Thus, an officer who maneuvers smartly through the executive suites can now make a mark as a leader without much in the way of martial triumphs.
That’s the case with Gen. David Petraeus, freshly resigned from running the CIA over a sexual peccadillo. No general since World War II had a more spectacular career or was more praised by one and all. Even his demit by scandal was used by the media to heap further laurels on him. But unlike Eisenhower of D-Day fame or Montgomery of El Alemein, there’s no great battle associated with Petraeus. At most, he’s noted for the “surge” in Iraq, which in the end amounted to bribing the Sunnis not to attack U.S.forces. Nothing our military has tried in that part of the world has worked out, so Obama tells us we're shifting our sights to targets in Asia. Meanwhile, in all of the encomiums to Petraeus, one word is missing: victory.
By the by, the Patraeus imbroglio reminded me of Tim Weiner’s informative, “Enemies: A History of the FBI.” Weiner, a former national security correspondent for the NY Times, tells us that J. Edgar Hoover vociferously opposed the creation of the CIA because it would cut into the turf of his FBI. In the decades since, according to Weiner, it’s been all but bloody war between the two agencies. I can’t help wondering whether the downfall of Petraeus by way of an FBI investigation is yet another skirmish in the battle of the bureaucracies? Reasonable, perhaps, but BORING!

Perhaps, but maybe I feel the need to pour a little petrol on the over the active fervid nonstop wingnut conspiracy mill and light a match...Now, let's all sing along...it's a catchy little ditty:

David Petraeus' wife, a minion of Obama in the CFPB, was sent by Obama (in 1974) to sabotage Petraeus by marrying him, then withholding sex and also placing one of those mind-controlling bugs from The Wrath of Khan into his ear, forcing him to seek out strange pussy.
For years, Petraeus manfully suppressed his urges, stoically enduring his sexless lot, until finally came the cauldron of Afghanistan. There, in the Swat valley, dodging gunfire, playing polo with tribal lords, he found a woman who truly understood him: a West Pointer, lithe, young, auburn-haired, caring in a way his frigid Obamanoid wife never was. Christ himself would have been unable to resist...
And so Petraeus, unable simultaneously to endure the machinations of the Global Left, the biological imperative from his loins and the parasite shrieking PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY in his ear, finally gave in, and you'd better believe he was the most sensitive and giving lover in the history of adultery.
Now the Global Left/Soros/Cloward-Piven/Eric Holder/Mau Mau endgame approaches. Get ready for CIA Director Dennis Kucinich.

Certifiably 100% Wingnut Seal of Approval!
All Righty Now.....


2 comments:

Ol'Buzzard said...

When is America going to get over who is fucking who?
the Ol'Buzzard

Jeremy Norton said...

I was laughing my mind of with this one "David Petraeus' wife, a minion of Obama in the CFPB, was sent by Obama (in 1974) to sabotage Petraeus by marrying him, then withholding sex."