Sunday, February 02, 2014

Conservative Wankonomics 101...on line lecture #2

That's right kids, now you can sign up for enrollment for Microdot U on line's course in Conservative Wankonomics 101. When and if you successfully complete the course, you will recieve your diploma, artfully hand lettered on a real Kleenex brand absorbent facial tissue so you can clean up any of your embarrassing tell tale messes.
We have already presented the introductory lecture here along with the instructional video, if you need to catch up Today, we would like to focus on the philosophical principles guiding the methodology of the discipline of Conservative Wankonomic theory. We would like to thank the WSJ for their defense of Perkins. I have to ask, did this come directly from the desk of Rupert Murdoch? Perhaps this example by one of the zestiest if not the most intelligent defender of Wankonomic Theory, Tucker Carlson,, might be of instructional value in this lecture series. Remember it's the gusto, not the actual nutritional content that count when expounding upon, expanding and explaining Wankonomics to the ignorant masses.
Today, let's focus on the practical application of psychopathic personality disorders to enable greed, ignore reality and of course deny responsibility for our actions and shift the blame for any perceived negative results to the black negro socialist radical liberal illegally occupying our White House .
One of the guiding principles of Wankonomics is "Poor People Lazy and Deserve Their Fate".  It's very important to instill a sense of utter hopelessness and despair in a subclass. They do not deserve food stamps or unemployment benefits. They just are simply jealous and want to steal your stuff. Keeping them occupied with other things is a great technique. Here is a simple demographic map of the USA which might go a long way to help you understand the how the population occupies itself:
Simple demographic map illustrating porn preferences and average time spent on line
broken down state by state

 As this map illustrates, most people do not care what goes on outside of the confines of the sweaty cubicle or special place in the trailer they have set up for a little personal time. Most people just want to keep their jobs, get a job, pay off their crippling student loans and try to decipher the latest barrage of disinformation about health care sent from the head office of The GOP. Most of all, they just want to make sure they can pay off their NetFlix bills and the internet keeps linking to their favorite porn sites. They want to make sure that people poorer than they are don't get their pathetic stuff, so they buy lots of guns. Sure, religion plays a big part of this, but we have discovered that we have better results if we keep mentioning the impending ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!  Simple. eh?
A very good illustration of the principles of Wankonomics is the Tea Party fueled GOP defunding of the SNAP program. Lazy poor people want free stuff. Who pays for their free stuff?  We do! Why should we pay for their free stuff, like food or what passes for food if you are poor...Cheetos, Twinkies, beer and potato chips? So cut food stamps and unemployment benefits at the same time. It's a curious side effect that the corporate giant which has put most of the small markets out of business in the USA, Walmart, is complaining that their stocks have dropped almost 10 bucks a share in the last few weeks. The lazy poor shoplifters aren't buying enough junk food! 
Sure, Republicans only called out those eating with government money; called them lazy.. and un-American. Those seeing the whole picture, were more concerned with how the economy would react... We predicted that some businesses would experience a 10% decline in food sales, matching the 10% decline in food stamps...
So why is Walmart the most affected? The answer is because it is cheaper. If one is receiving SNAP (or Food Stamps) one is already poor and on a tight budget. It makes good sense if one has only $700 to spend a month, to try and get as many calories as possible for that amount of money. The best place to do that is Walmart.
Walmart did this to themselves. As one of the biggest funders to the Tea Party, Walmart is one of the few corporations responsible for putting the Tea Party Republicans in office. Ironic then that the Tea Party chose to repay the favor by costing a few Walmart executives their jobs, through the cutting of SNAP... Walmart should have lobbied their friends much harder to shelve or vote against it. They and all other grocery chains now, should have both advertised to the public and lobbied the Senate, NOT to pass the Farm Bill with 8 billion of further cuts to that program. But they didn't....WHY? Answer this question for 10 extra points!

The damage caused to all of society by not fully funding SNAP is severe compared to the consequences that would occur, if that money was saved by raising taxes on the wealthy..but then again the object of this lecture is that none of this is fault of the real victims, the super rich 1%! If the poor aren't buying enough junk food it's because they are like the Frikin Notzies persecuting the victimized 1% causing a kind of trickle down holocaust, because if the 1% suffer, then they are just going to have to let some of the servants go...and if you haven't been paying attention. It's not their fault! They only want to keep the poor lazy masses from taking their stuff! Like all real Americans! It's the fault of those damned socialists like Obama and uhhh...FDR. Here, I want you to succeed in this on line class, so I've already taken some notes for you as a study aid. Just copy them into your note books and remember kids, study hard!

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