Very Bad Conclave

Oh, it all started out innocently enough, the boys were gonna party, but then, you know, weird shit always just seem to happen.....

Confusing signals from the holy Vatican chimney yesterday...what color is that smoke?  Pink, blue, green...Hmmm...get a whiff of that shit, I  think it's some Panamanian Maroon Bud!

As the cardinals slowly drifted back into painful consciousness, the reality of what happened the night before became inescapably apparent. I think Cardinal Sylvester got a new tattoo. "Whooa, whadda fug? whaa happen? Oh shit...I think we elected Franky!'

Yes, boys, you elected Franky the first...and in the cruel light of the harsh morning, maybe it wasn't such a good idea. Franky, a relatively youthful 76 year old pudgy Argentinian was a "dark horse' so to speak. He was never considered a player by the bookies and the Vatican gossip columnists. Franky is Jorge Mario Bergolio and perhaps it was an attempt to some how change the church's image? The first non European elected to the papacy 1,272 years from a part of the world that is hemorrhaging membership, but still Latin America is full of cultures that are much more tolerant of homosexuals and Bergoglio is on record affirming church teaching on homosexuality, contraception and abortion and is considered to be among the most conservative in Latin America. In 2010, for instance, Bergoglio stated that same-sex adoption is a form of discrimination against children and has said that same-sex marriage is “a scheme to destroy God’s plan” and “a real and dire anthropological throwback.” He strongly opposed legislation introduced in 2010 by the Argentine Government to allow for marriage equality, writing a letter warning that it would “gravely harm the family.”

He publicly advocates alleviating poverty and the conditions of the poor in Argentina, which is recovering slowly from being one of the first real casualties of the World Economic Crisis

However, Bergoglio has been criticized by the Society of Jesus (Jesuits) for his behavior during the 1976-1983 dictatorship in Argentina, with some journalists claiming that he prevented human rights groups from finding political prisoners by imprisoning them in his vacation home.
During the period of the dictatorship, the Catholic Church failed to confront the regime, even as it was kidnapping and killing thousands. The church eventually issued a blanket apology for its actions in October of 2012, though Bergoglio “invoked his right under Argentine law to refuse to appear in open court” to address two cases in which he was directly involved. When he did testify in 2010, his “answers were evasive,” human rights activists claim. Even more dirt on Franky:
An Argentine human rights lawyer had accused Archbishop Bergoglio, aka Pope Francis, of working with the murderous Argentine military junta in abducting two priests in the 1970s.
A human rights lawyer has filed a criminal complaint against an Argentine cardinal mentioned as a possible contender to become pope, accusing him of involvement in the 1976 kidnappings of two priests.
Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio’s spokesman Saturday called the allegation “old slander.”
 The 1970 abductions by the junta, called “the dirty war,” were a horrible business in which people were “disappeared” and murdered simply for disagreeing with the government. It’s rather disgusting that they’d pick a Pope in any associated with a cloud surrounding that period. Then again, Ratzinger was Hitler Youth and was implicated in the cover up fo the pedophilia scandal, and it didn’t stop him.

It looks like it's business as usual for this medieval mind control money driven institution. Another highly conservative, fascist enforcer who will continue to promote the regressive outdated policies that have been totally destroyed any real relevance or moral authority that they ever claimed to have. I say,

SPLENDID BOYS! JUST KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING AND PERHAPS YOU'LL FIND OUT WHAT IT IS REALLY LIKE WHEN YOU HAVE A RELIGION AND NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY ANYMORE!

(the clips are from the last nights emission of the classic long running news parody prime time program,

Les Guignols des Infos)