Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Kilts At The Airport Day

November 24th is the day when thousands of fliers at airports all over America will participate in National Opt-Out Day. Each day we become increasingly aware of the potential health hazards of the untested  nude scanning technology being installed in American Airports.
Many people for various reasons feel that the technology is insulting and invasive. The images can be stored and the system has already been abused.
The new "naked scanners" at the airport can't spot stuff inside body cavities, meaning that any terrorist with an explosive buttplug can wander right through, his unusual gait notwidthstanding. Why would such limited machines have been bought at such massive expense, given the inevitable outcry over their invasiveness? Because well-connected lobbyists worked awfully hard to convince politicians other wise.
The question is, how far are we willing to go to placate our manipulated fear? 
I think we should take it a step further....
Think about it -- if you're a male, and you want to bollix-up the nonsensical airport security-industrial complex, one way to do so would be to wear a kilt. If nothing else, this will cause TSA employees to throw up their hands in disgust. If you want to go the extra extra mile, I suggest commando-style kilt-wearing. While it is probably illegal to fly without pants, I can't imagine that it's illegal to fly without underpants. If you are Scottish, or part Scottish, or know someone who is Scottish, or eat Scottish salmon, or enjoy Scotch, or have a vestigial affection for "Braveheart" despite Mel Gibson, you can plausibly claim some sort of multicultural diversity privilege -- the term "True Scotsman" refers to soldiers who honor their tradition and heritage by wearing kilts without drawers underneath.
Of course, if you are one of any common garden variety of pervert, this might be a good reason to rack up some frequent flyer miles....You could request a much more thorough and dilligent inspection .

Perhaps this short instructional and educational video might provide some useful information to help prepare you for the experience:

1 comment:

Laci the Chinese Crested said...

Kilts at the airport--that might get me to fly!

Too bad blogger won't let me post pics.