Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Who'll Be The Next In Line (for heartbreak)

I thought this was an appropriate piece of music here for the soundtrack (The Kinks, 1965) of the Iowa Dysfunctional Republican Caucus type of Function thing...You know, the Democrats are having their Iowa Caucus tonight, but well, it isn't part of the reality TV series y'all are tuned to.
So let's look at the history of the Republican candidates and the running joke that there actually is a choice. Hmm, in tonights, episode, Newt, the lying liar calls Mittens a lying liar but since Newt seems to have accepted that he's gonna be a losing loser, he will support Mittens's lying lies or something like that...Maybe this really is "must see" TV!
The Republicans don't so much pick a candidate as anoint a sacred cow. In 68, it was Nixon, the former Eisenhower VP. In 76, it was the accidental president, Gerald Ford. When Ford ran against Carter in 76, Reagan was the runner up for the nomination. So, The Sacred Ronnie was the anointed one in 80.... His VP of course was George The First...Of course, Dole lost in 96, but the Son of Bush appeared in 2000. His rival was Mighty McCain, who became the crotchety ol' loser to Obama in 2008. McCains main rival in 2008 for the Republican nomination is the one revealed in the prophecies, Mittens. Yeah, we've heard it all anyway, Huntman makes too much sense and Paul doesn't make any sense...and how old is Ron Paul? Isn't he like 100 by now?
btw, the word is that Mittens spent over 4 million bucks  for his "barely eked by" in Iowa.
How much do you think he's gonna blow before the real election?
You know, Perry spent almost as much and still is claiming he's gonna pull this one out of his ass, but then so is Michelle.
And they say dreams can't be bought....
You'd think that the press would have figured this out by now. The methods may change, but the game remains the same.  On TV, however, nothing ever changes: the nomination will be treated like a plebiscite overseen by Gallup. The winner in Iowa will wear the crown once enjoyed by Pat Robertson, who claims that god told him who the winner will be, but it's a secret! The citizenry will be stupider than it had been the day before. All hail Mittens, anoint that sucker with the sacred Mazola and get him face down, buns up in a manger!
And now, as an added attraction, my very favorite Ray Davies composition of all time. My theme song since 1966: I'm Not Like Everybody Else!

No comments: